Saboteur Spotlight: The Victim – The Incredible Sulk

Do you sometimes feel that no one appreciates the work you do?

Do you tend to withdraw from others and sulk during difficult trading periods?

If this sounds like you, then you probably have a strong Victim Saboteur. 

This is not necessarily a common Saboteur amongst Account Managers and Sales Leaders.  However, each one of us is susceptible to feeling like a victim when times get tough or if we receive unjust treatment in the workplace. 

In this article I want to provide some insight into how the Victim Saboteur can impact your short and long-term performance and what you can do to combat its negative influence.

What is the Victim Saboteur and why is there a stigma surrounding it?

As identified from the research conducted by Positive Intelligence™ there are 10 Saboteurs.  These Saboteurs are responsible for hijacking our minds and generating the negative emotions we feel like shame, guilt, disappointment and anxiety.

It is important to note, that each of the Saboteurs correspond to a person’s greatest strengths.  These strengths turn into Saboteurs when they are over-used or taken too far.

In the case of those who have a prominent Victim Saboteur, their strengths lie in their ability to feel deep self-empathy.  They are highly self-aware and capable of deep introspection and self-discovery, which can fuel their own personal development.

However, they can self-sabotage when their sensitive nature goes into overdrive.  This tends to make them emotional and withdrawn.  To be clear, it is natural for all of us to feel this way at times.  However, the distinction for a person who has a strong Victim Saboteur is that they can allow these feelings to fester, which can in turn lead to them digging a hole which can become exceptionally difficult to climb out of.

Unfortunately, the term “victim” creates a stigma in our society.  There is a feeling that people consciously choose to act this way as a means of getting attention.  Whilst this is true in certain circumstances, most of the time when people are being genuinely hijacked by their Victim Saboteur, they have no zero awareness that it is happening at all.

It is also important to note that all Saboteurs are created equal.  The Victim is no worse or better than the Hyper-Achiever or Controller and vice versa.

How does the Victim negatively impact your performance?

The Victim Saboteur drains a lot of your energy.  In creating the thought that terrible or unpleasant things ONLY happen to you it forces its host to expend mental energy on internal processing and brooding.  In the longer term this can lead to self-pity and feelings of extreme sadness. 

In the fast-paced world of FMCG Sales, prolonged periods of sulking will start to affect your productivity.  You may start to find that you have less mental energy or capacity for all your critical day-to-day tasks. 

There is no nobility in pain and suffering.

The longer a person harbours these Victim feelings, the greater the likelihood that they will spiral into a depressive state.  I’m sure that we all know someone who always seems to have a gloomy outlook on life.  Believing the lies of the Victim Saboteur can lead a person down a path where negativity almost becomes an ingrained personality trait.

They can start to develop a martyr complex, which makes them feel as though they are always sacrificing themselves for the benefit of others. 

However, it is important to understand that there is no dignity or grace in pain and suffering.  In Richard Wiseman’s excellent book “The Luck Factor” he proposed that the main difference between lucky and unlucky people was their mindset.  Unlucky people always thought that the world was against them (in a similar vein to those with a strong Victim Saboteur) and that ended up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The Victim Saboteur eventually ostracizes you from others.

Pretty quickly your colleagues or customers may even be able to detect the changes  your mood.  The problem with the Victim Saboteur is that in an attempt to make others understand your pain and suffering, it does the complete opposite by pushing people away. 

The Victim Saboteur constantly tests the loyalty of those around you: if they care enough then they will continue to stay and support you.  However, once people become frustrated that they can’t help you they eventually give up and abandon you.  This event further fuels the Victim Saboteur destructive impact since it gets to tell you it was right all along!

As you can imagine, in any sort of business team environment this has catastrophic effects.  As an Account Manager or Sales Leader a major part of your role is working with and influencing internal cross-functional teams. 

You need other people to help create FSDUs for your new product launches, or ringfence stock for your promotions, or build compelling selling stories.  If you get labelled as a “difficult” person to work with then this will make every aspect of your job more challenging as these stakeholders will naturally deprioritize your requests. 

The worst-case scenario would be to alienate your Buyer with your disconsolate attitude.  If this happens and your customer requests for you to be removed from the account, then it will almost certainly be the death knell for your employment in that business.

Remove your hand from the hot stove.  You can always find gifts and opportunities from challenging situations. 

So how can you overcome the lies and harmful influence of the Victim Saboteur?

Remember that dwelling on negative thoughts and feelings is akin to keeping your hand glued to the hot stove.  It will not help you find the positive solutions to move forward. 

Also understand that bad luck and tough times are just part of the human experience.  Don’t let the Victim Saboteur trick you into believing that you are uniquely affected or flawed.

Try to adopt what Positive Intelligence refers to as “The Sage Perspective”.  This perspective challenges a person to find and convert gifts and opportunities in any difficult or negative situation.  You can harness positive emotions like curiosity and creativity when you implement this mindset.

This in turn will help to drag you out of the mire of self-pity, regain control and deliver your peak performance.

How building Mental Fitness allows you to harness the strengths of the Victim Saboteur.

Hopefully you’ve gained some insight from this article on how your Victim Saboteur hijacks your mind and adversely influences your performance.  However, to create lasting habit change, only 20% of the necessary work is attributed to insight.

The other 80% of work is attributed to mental muscle building to construct new neural pathways.  This takes at least 6-weeks of intense work.  If you are interested in intercepting your Saboteurs and shifting to a more positive mindset then take the Positive Intelligence Saboteur Assessment https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/ and then book a free 30-minute coaching call with me at https://www.expcoaching.co.uk/ to find out more!